My ex, the hippocrate.
I can’t believe it. My ex just called and instead of letting it go to voice mail I answered. He wanted to let me know that he was working hard to get caught up with just what I took him to court for. That he was mailing two checks to the state today to make up the fact that he hasn’t paid anything this month.
I tried to be nice and cordial. I asked him about his back and he said that that was off point. I gave him a rundown of everything that he had said and explained that I was just concerned about his back. Then he asked me questions about property that defaulted to me. I asked him that if/before I gave the tools to him I wanted him to start paying me for money I loaned him and some private stuff that the court didn’t have anything to do with. Lucky for me I had him sign a paper that says he owes me the money. He said that he would try but it would take years before he was caught up just on the stuff that I took him to court for.
I told him he could just pay me $5 a week, but he said he didn’t have extra money. He has money to drink and smoke. What he doesn’t know is that I’m not giving him any tools, until he starts paying me.
I do miss his friendship, and I believe it’s important that we be cordial with each other. We have two daughters. So I asked him if he thought we would be friends again and he said that he didn’t know. He still had the letter that says I want to send to jail. I reminded him that it was a mistake. That I had NEVER lied to him and he knows it. He said he didn’t know it since the letter went to the judge. I had to tell him that it didn’t that it was just between our lawyers and us. No one else knew. Again I reminded him that I had never lied to him ever. He didn’t answer. The letter gives him leverage, it gives him a reason to blame me for his problems. It also gives him some evidence to support the lies he is spreading. Unfortunately, no one is asking me. They are all believing him. That’s why I am losing friends.
I’m not sure what to do. If I should defend myself, or just let it go. If people are willing to overlook his alcohlism, his affair, his bad treatment of me(which everyone saw but me), his not taking responsibility for anything. Just because of one letter that was a mistake, then maybe i am better off without them. Unfortunately that means I have no one else. It’s just my girls and I. I can’t wait until 2014 and I can get as far away from him as I can.
Tags: affair, alcoholism., blame, ex, lies, responsibility
April 28th, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Hi, I juz returned your EC drop. I thought I’d let you know here, since I couldn’t find ypur EC Card. Anyway, good luck with starting over. Life can be tough and a marriage is not always the solution. A lot of people prefer being single as they have more freedom. Okay till here for now.
April 29th, 2009 at 2:37 am
I wish you best wishes though.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:44 am
I don’t think you and him will ever agree on anything. I have learned not to even go back and forth with my soon to be ex. Papers are filed and I wish I didn’t have to worry about being cordial because of the children. Although I remain cordial and try to be nice, I wish I didn’t have to talk to him. I also remember when he and I were friends and, like you, I miss that. But things are so skewed and so much time has passed since then I don’t think it’s possible. Don’t worry about being nice; just do what’s best for you and try to make you happy. I hope that you find new friends and have a full life that you look forward to everyday. As a matter of fact, I wish the same for me.
April 29th, 2009 at 7:05 pm
Hi,
I just dropped you an EC and read your post. I just wanted to say that it sounds like you have been put through alot and no woman deserves to be treated that way. It sounds like you need to let the past go and do what’s best for you and your children and move on with your life. I have been seperated from my ex since 2005. We have 3 beautiful daughters together and were married for 16 years, but because we can’t seem to get along and he never calls or visits our children, and the times he did call it always caused problems therefore I told him just to leave us alone. I don’t want his child support or anything that comes from him. He is no good and is a liar and a cheater as well as a theif and scam artist, and I chose to not let him have the privilege of being in me and my Daughters’ lives. We are to good for him and with the help of God I have managed to let my past go. We have not spoke to him since Oct. of 2008 and since I broke off all contact with him our lives have never been better.
I made a very wise decision and stood by that decision 100%. You will find true inner peace and happiness when you can find a way to let go and move on. Let the Lord be your guide you will find comfort and strength in him and he will bring inspiring people into your life to help comfort you. Keep your chin up and your eyes toward the heavens with a hopeful heart. I wish all the best for you and your children.
God bless you and yours.
Julie~
April 30th, 2009 at 5:55 am
Exes suck. Mine has been a brainless twit lately, letting his girlfriend and a pervy friend of theirs run his life. I told the pervy friend to stop showing up over here because I found out he’s been trying to force my teenage daughter into an inappropriate relationship (this guy is in his 40s) and a couple days later my ex was in court trying to get custody of her! I’m like, how does he think he’s going to get custody? He hasn’t visited regularly or shown any interest in either of our kids for years. To be honest I feel like the kids aren’t safe around my ex as long as he’s under the influence of these other people, and I’m going to be telling the judge that at the hearing next week.
April 30th, 2009 at 6:00 am
Julie it sounds like you did the right thing, sometimes I feel like moving with no forwarding address but I just can’t afford it! I feel like that’s the only way to stop the crap coming from my ex and his friends though; his girlfriend has been harassing us by making false abuse reports to Social Services for over 10 years now, and now this other guy using my ex to try to get at my daughter. It’s really sickening.