Ex-Husbands will it ever end?
To make a brief intro to my situation. I got married at 19. I have 2 beautiful girls, 17 and 13.
3 months before our 17th anniversary, Dec 25, 2006, i found proof he was having an affair. The entire time we were married he mentally, verbally,emotionally abused me. I didn’t notice, i thought it was all about his alcoholism. I kicked him out within 10 mins. He isn’t a very good dad, in fact he fought the divorce every step of the way. We have been technically divorced for a year yet and he is already over $5000 in rears for child support and alimony. I had to take him to court for contempt cuz w/out me he stop paying his bills. That was drastically affecting my credit.
He doesn’t have any contact w/our oldest(her choice) and very little with the youngest (his choice). I was awarded the house and everything in it that he hadn’t claimed. He was awarded everything in the garage. He had 30 days to collect or he forfeited it to me. I even gave him an extra 60 days, he was suppose to be paying me, he didn’t. Now the stuff is mine and he calls every 6 weeks asking for something before I sell the stuff then gets mad when i don’t answer.
Now i have 2 problems: 1) He is demanding that i give him a jigsaw, a rotary saw, and a drill. He is trying to make me feel guilty. Like if i give it to him he will start talking to his youngest. I should mention that the OW who he lives with has 2 kids. He is a better father to them than his own. I don’t feel that i should just hand anything over. If he wants it he should pay which leads to the second problem. 2) Last night a repo man showed up at my door he was trying to repossess our travel trailer (which he was awarded in the divorce). He made it sound like if i knew where it was i had to tell him, i had to tell him since my name had never been taken off.
I got a call this morning from my ex informing me that both our credit is now in the crapper. I should have told him last night the repo man was here so he could have moved it. He had payed them electronically yesterday, they hadn’t received it yet. His only choice was to give the repo man $300 which, he didn’t have. His girlfriend had written 2 checks for my child support and alimony and that wiped her out.(poor baby, steal my husband now she is literally paying for the affair(yes i am still bitter, even though i am better off). So i would have to loan him the money and there was no guarantee he would ever pay me back. That would only be a short term solution and i would have to request that the judge lower the child support and alimony. But he would be back in the same boat in a few months. The other is one is to file bankruptcy which will hurt me as well, but hopefully only in the short run. It has already affected me. My credit score was 785, its now in the low 500’s. I pay everything on time, and usually a little extra. I also help take of my mom, and sometimes loan money to a friend who was in a similar situation only she wasn’t married to him. I don’t want her to lose her apartment and would do anything to help people in need. Even if I put off things i need, my girls come first.
Tags: alimony, bankruptcy, credit, girls, money
May 7th, 2009 at 6:03 pm
hope all things goes well with you. As they say heartaches/hardships will not last, only strong people.good luck and God bless.=)
May 8th, 2009 at 3:40 am
I don’t think you should give him a dime! He’s working you, babe just like he did for 17 years. Just smile and say “sorry hon — I don’t have it either because you are $5000 in arrears on child support”
May 8th, 2009 at 3:43 am
My prayers are with you. Remember to take care of yourself and your family. He sounds like this is only the tip of the troubles. I’m sure you’ll come out of the turmoil stronger for it.
May 10th, 2009 at 1:14 am
Good luck with all the things you undertake.
May 13th, 2009 at 3:17 pm
I totally agree with Margaret, if he wants his stuff and wants you to help him out when he needs it he should pay you what he owes you first.
May 18th, 2009 at 4:46 am
I agree with Margaret. You shouldn’t give him anything; you have enough troubles of your own. If you do he’ll be back soon with another problem and then another and then another. He needs to fix his own mess.
And about the jigsaw, rotary saw and drill, don’t give in either. She’s his daughter and he shouldn’t need a reason to talk to her. If he doesn’t want to, whatever. You’re doing a great job so far and I’m sure you’ll be able to provide your daughter with enough love so she won’t need him at all.
I wish you the best of luck. You have a lot of courage.