When people think of others being abused they automatically think about physical abuse. Beating someone up. I have basically been abused every kind of way. Starting when i was 2. I’m not very comfortable talking about most of it. The worst kind is the verbal, emotional, psychological kind. It starts out so slow disguised as jokes and things you don’t know it’s happening. Bruises heal, other kinds of abuse can be dealt with. But the emotional, that lasts a lot longer. By the time I kicked my ex out he had me totally convinced that I was lucky he decided to marry me. No one would want to date me, much less marry me. That I wasn’t a very good person, I wouldn’t have a life unless he was there. I didn’t have any real friends people only pretended to like me because of him or my girls. At least thats what he had me convinced of. He always referred to me as his future alimony payment even on our wedding day.

Because of some of the abuse I suffered when I was younger, there were somethings I wouldn’t do in the bedroom, he would tell me if I didn’t he would find someone else who would. Well it took 17 yrs but he did. He had me convinced that I was so horrible no man would ever want me let alone go out with me, and if they did it was because they felt sorry for me. Sometimes i’m afraid to post here because I don’t want people to think I am this pathetic thing that everyone feels sorry for,that my ex convinced me I was. I do have my bad days, but thankfully they are getting farther apart. Now I just have to convince myself that I will be excepted even with the pain i’m constantly in because of the Fibromyalgia.

That’s one reason I put up with his drinking, I was convinced that I couldn’t live without him and I was lucky he stayed with me through all the pain. After I kicked him out a lot of my friends started pointing out things he said and did to put me down. He finally admitted one day that he did it on purpose, he didn’t want me to wake up 1 morning and realize I was better than him. I did, but it took the affair for my eyes to open. Now i’m in therapy and so are both my girls. They suffered some verbal and emotional abuse from him as well. We will be stronger for all we have been through.

Just remember before you jump to any conclusions that abuse isn’t just physical. Any one can be a victim. Men young or old, the same for women, kids, and especially watch out for your teenagers. Sometimes they are so caught up in the idea of having a boyfriend or girlfriend. They just won’t admit to anything. So just remember to look for changes. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or offer help should ever they need it.

Tags: abuse, confidence, ex's, mental abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse, teenagers, verbal abuse

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 20th, 2009 at 4:50 am and is filed under Family, Me, Misc., Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.